last days.

it’s almost the end. a constant closing. and isn’t it weird that we consider the "end of the year" in the middle of June, and the "beginning of the year" after Labour Day. So Actually January 1st should be more of a mid-year celebration. Even our TV shows follow this September-June year. So what does that make July and August? a nomad’s land of timelessness. I wish.

Raise your hand if you’re either a Cancer or a Leo and have missed out on many birthday’s because it’s during summer and everyone is gone. (Mine is raised). One year (my 20th) nobody said happy birthday to me (not even my parents… well one friend did call at 9:30pm… sixteen candles anyone?). I have the lowest expectations on that day. In fact, I think I have low expectations all around. What inspires expectations? What surprises expectations? I just don’t expect myself to succeed or really to be anything but mediocre. After I hurdled the can-do attitude my generation has been fed since we were tots, I resolved to everything less than perfect. But does that mean I’m unhappy? Or lazy? Or worse wasting my life? I have no idea. I just know that I’m not unhappy, I have wonderfully lazy days, and sometimes I waste huge amounts of time doing nothing worth remembering.

I’m just wondering about the expectation of my existence, especially since this Chinese one is ending.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s