it’s me it’s me

i cried in class. and the tears did not come because of some anger outburst or frustration flare-up. No. these tears were of a desperation, and a hope, and the deepest well of desire for my students. I am teaching them an Avril Lavigne song, a little cheesy, but it was featured on Glee, and I can’t help but tear up a little bit every time I watch it. The words are easy enough, and it is applicable to my latest run of inspiring the shit out of my students pants. I want them bursting at the seams with love and kindness that daisies pop out of their ears and sunshine bubbles out of their belly buttons. We watched the song, and then, because I’m silly, I forgot to bring the power point to learn the song. Being a teacher I have become excellent at on the cusp thinking, so we discussed the song and it’s meaning. Then, oh then, I got a little emotional. I started to lecture on the importance of having someone in your life who loves you no matter what you do, and that may not be who you think it is. The words stuck in my throat as I tried to convey the importance of loving despite… oi. The thing is though, they understand, all of it. They understand my desperation, but do they understand that I am that person for them? No matter what people do, I want to love them. How do you tell a person that? How do you make yourself available like that? I think my students get it, or at least the ones who aren’t picking their butts do. But I want everyone to get it. And there is one person who made himself available to accept it all.

My students started laughing when they saw the actors holding hands in the music video… I stopped it and said "Sometimes the best, and only thing you can do for a person who needs help is to touch them. To hold their hand. So this isn’t funny, but is absolutely important.". That shut them up. And I went around touching my students shoulders and heads as we continued to watch to let them know, in the smallest way, that I care. I care a whole lot.

That would never fly in America. how’m I gonna teach there?

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One thought on “it’s me it’s me

  1. I cry almost every time I hear that song…..and sing it at the TOP of my lungs (in my car) and when the blow-dryer or vacuum are on.

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