Warning, This may gross some out, unless you’re Martha or Kimmy.
My body is constantly fascinating me, as it should for most people. We are capable of making noise that doesn’t come from our mouth, bleed red from blue blood, and make milk (yes, even men). We are so amazing. There are sciences devoted to each little part of us down to the tiniest little neutron of an atom (is that an insult?… son of a…). Lately I’ve had to devote some of my own time to a specific science, specifically gynecology. My lady has been giving me some problems and I’ve been probing both internally and internetally. Finally I decided to go to the Chinese Gyno Doc.
This lady is my Chinese friend’s baby maker, as in her delivery doctor for my little Angel, her daughter. I had heard some horror stories of the dangers of Chinese hospitals. I have only entered the hospital twice. Once to get checked out for my entry visa and the second time to assist a friend getting an IV (yuck, puke). This time I was prepared for all sorts of things, bloody sheets, twice used needles, curious crowds, anything. I had heard just about everything there is to hear from a woman being jumped on while she was giving birth to ‘push’ the baby out, to witnessing bloody heads being healed with dirty bandages. So exposing myself to this environment was less than exciting. However, the stories were perhaps blown out of proportion now that I witnessed it for myself. I was behind a curtain, situated on a spotted sheet and swabbed. That was it. I was sent on my way to get some lab results, pay some fees and leave. No biggie.
This ain’t an exciting story, but why does my story have to be exciting or full of adventure. That’s when I start to exaggerate and Chinese hospitals turn into above ground mental torture chamber. No, this happened, and happens everyday. But why tell everyone about the mundane everyday shit. We don’t cause it’s boring. How to fight boredom? Wilco? Do you have that song?
bytheway. My lady parts are fine… i think.