little ole lady

one thing that brings me joy is holding doors open for toothless old ladies. and to see a shocked smile spread across their wrinkled little faces.

i am living in this ‘other’ world culture. and despite my best efforts (dying and cutting my hair to resemble a small male child of this culture), I cannot blend in.

and then because i live here… i choose to live here…in this ‘other’ place, i feel as if this is the extent of my heart, as if i can’t reach out to love or help others. that my arm’s length only goes so far as the borders of this land. and the frames of thought rushing through my head back up and slow down as I realize that I care beyond these borders and I’m supposed to, if not physically then with all of my spirit. I am to pray, and to love, whether consciously or unconsciously all over the world, all over creation. from whatever station i choose. my ministry is not the chinese, my goals are not china. my identity is love, and that is all I want to be known for.

so i am praying for a country that is dying in front of the entire world, helpless and hopeless to do anything.

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